


Shadow's

by Slytherclaw_Rebel



Category: Naruto
Genre: 2am writings, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Gen, Maybe Self-Insert, Reincarnation, Self-Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23102848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slytherclaw_Rebel/pseuds/Slytherclaw_Rebel
Summary: Oh shit, I died. But I'm cool with it.
Comments: 33
Kudos: 197





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't get this movie I was watching out of my head and wanted to write about it, I guess. Soooo disclaimers and all that, mistakes are mine. This story was inspired by Dreaming of Sunshine by Silver Queen, read that fic like 1000 times. If you haven't read it yet, please do. It's amazing!

When a person reaches the afterlife, they are judged seven times over the course of 49 days. Tried by deceit, indolence, injustice, betrayal, violence, murder, and filial impiety, only the souls who pass all trails, are reincarnated. - Buddhist Scripture (Along with the Gods).

I died; it sucks. I don't remember what I was doing. But I see snippets of being guided to places and having my life judged. I didn't live an extravagant life, and it wasn't very fulfilling. In all reality, it was boring, and it felt as if I was existing. I spent my days waking up, going to work—binge on tv-shows that may catch my interest but never finished. Books were my escape, and that was the only excitement I had, getting lost in fantasies, wishing it was my own. When I died, it wasn't dramatic or painful; it just happened. I like to think I lived a healthy life and always taking care of my body. I was also alone, no one with me. It was a sad life. I do remember that when I was judged a voice saying that they hope I can live in excitement, and then I was alone in a dark place.

It was weird, being in a state of conscious and unconscious. I felt like I was floating, and everything was weightless. I was never hungry; I don't remember how hunger pains felt like. The empty space began to feel cramped, and I felt another presence near me. I was too tired to make anything of it. My empty space began to feel claustrophobic, and I began to feel the pressure. The cold air cut across my skin, making me gasp in surprise. Blinking, trying to get my vision to clear, but it wasn't working. Feeling a sting in shock, I heard a babies cry, only to realize that that was me. What. The. Fuck. I was man-handled and clean, finally wrapped up in something warm and soft before being placed somewhere. I was still in shock, and I can see blurbs of what I think was one of my parents and a mummer of voices, everything still sounds muffled and blurry. I'm too exhausted to deal with this, and I let my eyes close, hoping that this was all a dream, only to remember the voice that said I hope you can live a more exciting life. 

The next time I fell into consciousness, all I felt was pressure. Heavy pressure, I was suffocating, I couldn't breathe. Help. Help. HElp. HELP! I felt heavy; I hear cries near my ear; it wasn't me. I was frightened. I need to move. Why can't I MOVE! Please help, please, please help me. It felt as if I was dying again.

The cycle of wakefulness and sleep continued. It began to get better throughout the next few weeks. The muzzled voices started to clear, my vision a little sharper. I can make out shapes now instead of blobs of color. Every noise made my head would turn. I kept hearing a repeated phrase by my ear. "Shikomoi." Huh, must be my name in this life. I hear the low rumbles of my father and the soothing cadence of my mother's voices. They're speaking, but I can make out what they are saying. The only repeat of my name gives me comfort; I am somebody here. I'm no longer alone. 

Month six was a plethora of milestones for me: teething, sitting on my butt, a wiggle worm sort of crawl. Yeah, I'm doing big things. And guess what, I have a brother, a twin brother, to be exact. Not identical but fraternal apparently. Which is cool; I was an only child before. And his name was Shikamaru, neat, right? Like from Naruto. I think I was in rural Japan or something. I understand a few words from all the anime and manga I read. Not precisely fluent, but enough, so I don't look like an asshole.

I am independent hear me roar, well not exactly. I can crawl comfortably now. And I upgraded to semi-solid foods. I was happily gumming my mush sweet potato with my six teeth when I saw dad walk through the door. He was usually home and dressed down when my brother and I were awake. So me seeing him as a cosplay ninja freaked me out. I knew that my parents had similarities to the characters in Naruto. But. What. The. Fuck. I saw the headband on his forehead. I began to look closer at my parents and take in their features. Holy. Shit. I got reincarnated in Naruto. I didn't even make it past the fucking Chunin exam in either the manga or the anime. I was fucked. My brother is Shikamaru. I'M A FUCKING NARA. Now I'm crying.

I came to terms with it fairly quicking, and I'm pretty stoked that I'm a Nara. I don't have to hide my smarts, I guess. Now I'm playing with my brother, this whole anime reincarnation thing. Yeah, ignore. 

"Mmmm," my little lips puckered and my cheeks puffed out. "Mmmmaaaaa," my parents were sitting around enjoying a quiet day, but I wanted to get my brother's attention damnit! 

"Honey, I think he's trying to say something." mom said to dad as your face screwed in concentration. "What are you trying to say, baby, maaaa." mom tries to mimic my sounds.

"Mmmaaa. Maaauu. Maruu." I broke into a toothy smile, yeah nailed it. 

"Moi." my little shit of a brother said, I struggled for a whole 3 hours, and he goes an- wait, he said my name. Our first words were each other's names, hahaha. The parental unit was pleased, mom was gushing, and dad has a smirk on his face, but you can see the gleam in his eyes. Yeah, I know, buddy, we're fucking cute. 

"Moi." the little shit said again, but this time he smacked me in the face. I love my life. 

Ok, I lied. I don't love my life. Who knew a mini Ino was a terror. Dad thought it was now safe enough for us to go out of the compound or introduce us to more people after we were able to walk on our two feet. Maru and I can string a couple of words together, Maru is lazier, and I'm putting an effort. Damn geniuses. But back to Ino. She's a terror, and you can tell that she's a princess. She was so demanding about EVERYTHING. She found that I knew how to braid hair because I was working on fine motor skills; she demanded I would do her hair. And if I refused, she'll throw a fit. 

"Sometimes, you'll just have to do what a woman wants, even if you don't like it, Moi." Dad's wise words, or in my case shit advice, dad. But sadly, I did enjoy doing intricate styles on her hair; I love Maru's hair the most though, it's fluffy. Choji was my buddy, and we were awkward wallflowers together. He had me at first chip. I love anyone that would feed me. I was fascinated by cooking in my last life; I was one of those who watches cooking shows and say, "hell yeah, I could make that." Only to attempt, and it becomes not what I wanted on my plate. So the Akimichi family became my getaway if I wanted to watch someone cook. I watch mom sometimes, but she wanted me to help, and I burn water. No lie, the kitchen equipment is easy her and burning water is talent. I wasn't allowed in the kitchen at home anymore.

"Moi-kun, you'll just need to come home or find someone to cook for you when you're older." Mom told me, thanks, mom. I would eye-roll, but she wields a mean spatula, and I'm pretty sure dad had a dent in his head now from her. But because we were introduced to the outside world, we had more freedom to roam around the compound. I'm sure we had watchers, but I couldn't see them. Dad also started on our training, and Mom was teaching us the basics, like reading and writing. It was awesome to read again. I always used to eat up books, and I would get lost in its pages. It was damn hard to get it, but once I started noticing patterns and was immersed in the language, it became easier. I would always perch on Dad's shoulders and did the "point and tell me the name" game. He would grumble, but I think he was just happy I wasn't pulling on his hair anymore. 

Shadow's scared me, so it was funny that my new family's clan technique involved shadows. It was an unintentional fear I had in my last life from scary movies and living alone. But Dad had the patience of a Monk, showing me ways that yes shadows can be scary, but they wouldn't harm us. I think when Dad used his shadows to tickle-fight, me and Maru was the closer; I love the shadows now.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Innocence is so much more powerful than experience." Alejandro Gonzalez

In the next few years, our parents were turning us into mini functional people. I never knew dad snuck IQ test in out training, that bastard. I was pretty much dumbing myself down lower then Maru, but I was ok with that. Wanna know why? I knew he was a brain, but I didn't realize how much until dad taught us shogi and kicked my ass, not saying I was a chess master or was good at any strategy games. Still, you could see the terrifying intelligence in his eyes when he's focused.

Anyways, Maru is a smart cookie, and I'm showing my Nara-ness in sleeping. It's so awesome just to lay ANYWHERE! One time I just laid splat on the road when mom was shopping; it was hilarious, especially when Maru was next to me. She never took us shopping again, win, right? I know freaking genius in getting out of chores, but she did get serious; she'll bring out her spatula. I tried hiding it, but she had a backup! Are all moms that scary because I think version 1 had a flipflop. I'm giving myself shivers, abort. But our next step is, you've guessed it the academy. 

I felt both terrified and exhilarated; we were both eight, just turned this past September. I felt ready, I think, I know Maru doesn't care as long as Mom is not in our faces and I totally agree. You know, sometimes I miss my life of solitude, but then I remember how lonely it was. But yeah academy time, let's get it!

The building was freaking ginormous like is it all for students? Oh wait, I think I remembered that it was the administrative building too. But yeah, me, Maru, Mom, and Dad all walking toward this big ass building, and I can feel the nerves setting it. It kind of feels like I need to poop; maybe I should have done that before we left the house...but yeah deep breaths Shikomoi, you can do this.

"Mah, your turning blue Moi-kun; you might want to take a breath," Dad said as I inhaled deeply, no wonder I was feeling lightheaded. You need to breathe idiot; you're not a fish. I wanted to smack my face, but before I can Maru snatched my hand and grabbed it with his chubby fingers, like he knew what I was going to do. Hmm, brat.

"Right, thanks, Tou-tan," I told Dad with my stupid lisp. I worked hard, but I swear some words don't fit my mouth. Mom thought it was adorable, cringe.

"You'll be alright, Moi-Moi. You'll have your brother and Ino and Choji. I'm sure you'll meet plenty of people." Mom said as she rubbed soothing circles on my back, I almost fell asleep standing up. I mumbled my answer until she picked me up and gave me a giant squeeze. Gosh, Mom, way to embarrass me in front of my peers, I can feel my face turning red, and Dad is smirking at us. I probably look like a tomato right now. She held me as the Hokage said his opening speech I didn't pay attention to but probably should. Maru was leaning against Dad's leg; we both just looked sleepy and didn't want to be there. I could already tell how our academy days are going to be like. Troublesome. 

"I'll see you two at the end of the day, have fun, and make friends." Mom said as she smacked kisses on our foreheads, ew it was wet. I hate it when she does that, I feel like a cat getting a tongue bath. But friends, right, yeah, I don't want to. Hard pass. Maru and I traveled to the pack of other ducklings to see where we're going. It looks like N-Z is congregating by a fat smiling Chunin with a bandana forehead protector and a mean chin beard. He was leading us to a classroom with elevated seating, like how they had in universities. Cool, maybe not, I am clumsy and might trip. Maru thought it was funny that I tripped on air...I did, and I got too lazy to get back up until he poked me.

"Please find your seat, welcome to class 1-B. I am your teacher Funeno Daikoku. Please call me Daikoku-sensei." He gave us a slight nod as we scrambled to find seats. Maru and I snagged a place in the back, and Ino is with some girls, I had no clue who they were. But Ino was a social butterfly unlike Maru and me; I'm bummed Choji isn't in class with us. He was my snack buddy. Maru slumped over the table, and I was balancing on two legs with my arms crossed, waiting for further instructions. Daikoku continued with attendance and basic introductions and schedules; I'm already bored. I can see Maru's drool on the desk; he had the right idea, maybe I should follow. Yeah, I'm going to close my eyes, just for a little bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter. I wanted to tell you guys how I came up with the name Shikomoi; it was a playoff of "deer heart" I thought it was cute, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! Stay safe!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Kid, you'll move mountains." — Dr. Seuss

"Are you excited for today, boys?" Mom asked Maru and I as she dishes us our breakfast. Today was exam day, you know THE EXAM. I think I spent most of school sleeping, but Maru would sometimes pull pranks with the other kids, but I didn't feel like it. I would be at my desk with the puzzles; dad gave us, half-listening to whatever sensei was saying. The class got reshuffled twice since we all stared, so the big group we had, in the beginning, went down to one classroom by our final year. Iruka was impressive; especially his big-head Jutsu was pretty sure it was a genjutsu with visual and audio aspects.

"We'll be fine, Ka-chan," I said as I gave Maru more rice, he's a skeleton. Maru skips meals to sleep, but me yeah, no food is my life, if I happen to do it laying down with my eye closed however that's a different story. I'm surprised I wasn't round but solid lean muscle, I had a swimmer's body. 

"I know you'll be fine, Moi-Moi. I'm worried more about your brother." Mom said, glaring at Maru.

"Troublesome," Maru muttered under his breath.

"What was that?" Mom asked

"He said more fish, Ka-chan," I said so Maru didn't get smacked with the spatula and have a concussion before the test. Finishing our meals quickly, I kissed Mom, and Maru grunted a goodbye before we headed to the academy for our final test. Walking on the dirt path toward the Academy building, I began to think back on what happened so far. I wasn't close to our graduating class; I became strictly an observer and was ok with that. Dad still gave me puzzles, and I would give him my stack at the end of the week. Maru would do them every once and a while, but he knows as clan heir, and firstborn everything was already planned out for him. I was just the spare, but dad didn't see it that way, so he's molding me for something else, I just can't figure it out yet.

As the building approaches, I take a deep breath, ready for the rest of my life. "Ready, Maru?" I spoke softly, not wanting to disturb the peaceful morning. I think I hear him muttered a troublesome before he grabbed my wrist, making our way to our classroom and our usual seats. Choji was already there, holding down the fort with his handy bag of chips in his hand. I slid by Choji and snatched up a chip before greeting him; Maru just slumped in his seat. I was dozing off in my chair before I felt a poke at my side, Choji handed me my written portion of the exam. When did Iruka get here? Ah, whatever, flipping that test so I can see it correctly, it has basic questions of history, angle of projectiles, identifying, etc. I breezed through it only a few seconds behind Maru and laid my head back down. This time I felt a poke from Maru to take my practical portion, my eyes still half-closed as I stand in front on the panel of teachers with headbands lined up at their table. 

"Alright, Shikomoi, please perform a bunshin," Iruka said. I exerted enough energy to make a perfect clone, with my same slouch and half-closed eyes waiting for my final mark. I can see the instructors sweatdrop from here. "Congratulations Shikomoi, please finish your ninja registration and be on time for orientation is two days." Still sleepy, I walk out of the academy until I bumped into something solid, only to hear my dad chuckle. I felt my headband taken from my hand and tied firmly on my right arm, and I knew it was Maru. 

"Congratulations, you two, lets head home. Your mother is waiting with lunch." dad directs us back to the compound where mom has a nice spread in the table, she crushed us with hugs and kisses. Resistance is futile at this point, and Maru and I both knew that the best course of action is to go limp, precisely what we did to the amusement of our father. Lunch was a light affair full of laughter and stories. "Kids," dad said as he stood up, we followed headed to the Nara temple. "It's time to swear your pledges in front of our ancestors," as Maru started his pledge, I marvel at the temple. I've paid my respects here before, but I just feel the energy from the shadows. I've always been sensitive to the supernatural, even in my past. It feels as if they approve of something, of what I have no clue. Next thing I know, both my brother and father are looking at me. Oh, right, it's my turn.

"I, Nara Shikomoi. The second child of Nara Shikaku. Do pledge..."


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keep your face to the sunshine, and you cannot see a shadow - Helen Keller.

The past two days, Maru and I completed all of the registration things we needed to do; of course, cloud watching was in the schedule as well as eating on my part. Now we're sitting in the classroom waiting for team assignments. 

My past recollection of this series is blurry. I know Naruto had a "secondary" exam and past, but no one knows. I heard the alarm blaring after we had dinner, Dad flew out of the house, and Mom, Maru and I were sitting on the edge. Dad came home exhausted, muttering a troublesome before sending us all to bed. 

I know that Maru will be on a legacy team and the others should have the same team, I'm just unsure of my placement. Counting everyone into three's, we came up uneven with one odd person. There's a sinking feeling in my stomach that that person will probably be me.

"Huh? What are you doing here, Naruto? This isn't for dropouts. You can't be here unless you graduated." I heard Maru say to the blond as he walked up.

"Hey, hey, open your eyes, Shikamaru, you see this! It's a regulation headband; we're going to be ninja together! How do you like that?!" Naruto said as he pointed at his forehead. Knowing that it once belonged to Iruka, the metal duller then the ones that we received as well as the cloth was a different material than ours. It looks studier. Naruto's grins were bright that it is blinding. "I look great in this headgear like it was made for me. Dattebayo!" 

"Congrats Uzumaki-san," I said, giving him a slight smile before putting my head back down. I hear the chatter of my former classmates as I zone in and out of consciousness. I hear gagging and remembered that Naruto and Sasuke kissed, freaking hilarious. Also, the screeching fangirls, I hope my ears weren't bleeding.

"Alright, everyone settle down, settle down." Iruka walks into the classroom and gets everything to order. "As of today, you are all ninjas," he looks at each of us in the eyes before continuing, "To get here, you faced difficult trials and hardships. But that's nothing. What comes next will be far more difficult." 

I loved Iruka's graduation speech in the anime, and just being able to hear it was something else. You could see the shine in his eyes but also the doubt if he's taught us enough. He's a great Sensei.

"Now that you're only genin, first-level ninjas," he continued. "All the genin will be grouped into three-man squads. A jounin, an elite ninja, will lead each squad." I hear the murmur around me at that news. "We want each squad to have a balance of strengths and abilities, so that's how we set them up. Now I will announce the squads." While reading off the paper, Iruka continued to call out team assignments. I turned toward Maru, and he glanced at me, waiting for me to speak. I love our twin thing. Max level lazy.

"We have an odd man out for team assignments," I said to bring to his attention to not be surprised if I was sent somewhere else. Muttering his phrase, he looked at me closely as I'm not very surprised at the news. He knew that he was going to be part of Ino-Shika-Cho, he's been running formations with them forever. I've always been on the sidelines when they practiced. I did ask dad one day, and he told me that my plans were for something else, and I kind of left it at that. I should have followed up, but I guess my Nara was showing; it was like the ass-crack of dawn, and then I forgot about it.

"Where do you think you'll be?" He asked me, I contemplated for a bit and threw out my best options of either with and existing squad or an apprenticeship. He nodded and continued to listen for the rest of the team assignments.

"Squad seven. Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka said. Watching their reactions are hilarious. You could almost see the black cloud forming around them. "Next, squad eight. Hyuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba, Aburame Shin." I strong tracking squad, nodded my head at that formation, and can cover each other's weaknesses, the right choice. I see Sakura turn to Ino, taunting her for being able to snag the Uchiha to her team, internally rolling my eyes, ugh fangirls. Troublesome. 

"I don't get it. What do you see in a guy like that? He's not special," Maru asked Ino as he saw Sakura's taunt.

"You're beyond clueless, Shikamaru. Don't you get it?" Ino said with a sigh facing Maru.

"No, I don't get it, because I'm not a girl." Maru deadpanned at Ino. If it were me, I would have said something along the lines of dicks before slits or something, but I would have gotten whacked.

"Ugh, you're so full of yourself. I would hate to be put in your squad." Ino huffed, turning back to Iruka. "Now, squad ten. Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru, and Akimichi Choji." Iruka said as Ino froze.

"Didn't you say about something about being on my squad?" Maru smirked as he leans back in his chair. 

"Those are all the squads," Iruka says. He was organizing his papers looking around to see if we have any further questions. I can see he wanted to say something to me, but of course, he was interrupted.

"Iruka-sensei! Why does a great ninja like me have to be in the same group with a slug like Sasuke?" Naruto yelled as he points around in emphasis, you could almost see the directional arrows and lightning coming off him.

"Sasuke had the best score of all the graduates, and you Naruto had the worst. To create a balanced group, we put the best student with the worst," Iruka explained to Naruto as the class stifles there laughter, well not all of them. Kiba was obnoxiously loud.

"Just make sure you don't get in my way, loser." I heard Sasuke mutter to Naruto; I can see the vein popping out of his head. Iruka interrupts before that could escalate further. 

"Alright, after lunch, you'll meet your new jounin sensei. Until then, class dismissed. Shikomoi, come see me, please." I squeeze my brother's shoulder as I go to Iruka to see where I'm going to start my ninja career. Making our way out of the classroom, I was surprised to see dad leaning in the hallway. He gave me a slight nod telling me to follow him further as the rest of my class broke for lunch.

"You're probably surprised to see me, huh, Moi-Moi," Dad said as I cringe at the nickname.

"Gross Tou-san, I'm twelve, not two." Dad chuckled as he patted my head. Slowly making our way toward his office in the Hokage tower, I slumped in the seat across from his desk, waiting for him to open his mouth. Pretty sure dad is in Jounin Commander mode right now, so I didn't slouch as much. I saw as he placed a folder on his desk and looked at me. 

"Shikamoi," Dad said as he leaned on his desk with his hand's clasps together. "I'm sure you figured out that the grouping for this year's teams is uneven. It was discussed before to have you placed with an existing squad, however." My muscles tense, way to be suspenseful dad, I hate surprises. "However, you also know that I've been testing you since you started the academy and even before that." He pushed the folder forward; I opened it. It's all the paperwork that I turned into dad every week; I didn't know he kept it. Is this part of my records now? Some of the answers I put in the mock scenarios were questionable. I placed it back on his desk and slumped further. I hear him chuckle.

"Moi-Moi, you have a very gifted mind. An unconventional one, some of the scenarios that were here were difficult. But your outcome always has the least minimizing amount of damage to the village and its shinobi." His wording made me think.

"You used my insane scrabble as mission tactics?!" I yelled at dad, jolting out of my seat. Ah, hell, four years of random tactics I came up with depending on my mood from late childhood to adolescence. Some were mild, but others were pretty farfetched. And they pulled it off, holy shit ninja magic. Dad lets me go deeper into my mind as I go through all the possible outcomes, least damaging. But the question that still lingers on my mind is where I am going. "Alright, Tou-san, Jounin Commander-sama. What do my crazy scramblings have to do with my placement?"

"Sama, huh?" he chuckles, "Moi-kun, you'll be in-" A knock is heard on his door, and he paused mid-sentence, holy hell the suspense. I want to bash my head. Dad calls out to let the person in, and low and behold it comes Morino Ibiki and Yamanaka Inoichi. The only thing those two have in common is the Torture and Interrogation force as well as Intel. I still don't see where I would fit in as a newly minted wet behind the ears genin. I looked at dad in question.

"Shikomoi," Dad said with eyes piercing my soul, what the hell did I sign up for? "What I'm going to tell you only a few know, the Hokage has signed off on where you'll be going. Inoichi and Ibiki are a few that you'll be working closely with. Nara Shikomoi, you have been placed in ANBU tactical division, starting at dawn. You will be integrated into your teams, and training will begin." ANBU? Dad sent me to fucking ANBU, and the Hokage signed off on it, I'm twelve (physically) what on Kami-sama left saggy nut are they thinking. Dad must have seen the look of horror on my face before he continued further. "The part of ANBU you'll be part of is mainly tactics and intel gathering. Rarely you'll be in heavy combat or assassinations, but you WILL be able to handle it, Moi-Moi." 

I can see the bags in dad's eyes as this decision lies heavily in his mind. My childhood nickname tells me how emotionally invested my dad is into my career. He did say he had a plan, but what is my end game for him. Taking a deep breath, all I could do was nod as I clench my fist in anticipation, looking at Inoichi and Ibiki with blank faces. I guess I'll be with the shadows now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny - C.S. Lewis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nearly 1k hits on this fic, I never expected it to be so well-read. I'm thrilled that you all enjoyed my sleepless ramblings, and I hope I can continue to meet your expectations. Thank you for all your comments. It motivates me further to put out amazing chapters. Thank you for going through this journey with Shikomoi with me.

ANBU, huh? After I left dad's office, I strolled the streets with my hands in my pockets, thinking if it's worth it. The others are still on their lunch break as I see some of them grouped with their teammates and eating together. Carefree and so young and naive. I can say that about myself too though, I never did apply myself at the academy. I didn't dedicate myself to my last life either.  _ We hope you could live in excitement _ . Excitement, huh? Is this what they meant? I internally chuckled. Could this possibly be their influence? 

I hear a crash and yell as my head whipped around at the noise. I see the window close and a flash of orange, ah right, Naruto disguises himself as Sasuke. I can see my brother and his team watching from across the way. I changed paths to tell my brother part of the news, I don't know if I can tell him where I'll be going, but I'll give him enough information to put the pieces together.  _ Is it worth it _ pops up again, and as I see my twin surrounded by his teammates carefree and innocent, yeah, I'm ok with losing a part of mine. I had one childhood already. I can afford to shorten this one. Walking in a slow but purposeful stride, I sunk next to my brother touching from shoulder to knee. 

"Saw you with Tou-san, what did he want?" Maru said, not wasting any time, he must have been anxious. My poor brother is always watching out for me. I guess it's my turn this time. I was giving him a Nara smile that wasn't too big and just the right amount of lazy, mentally telling him that I was alright.

"Just telling me where I'll be going." I shrugged my shoulders, being as vague as I could, but at the same time not to draw suspicion.

"That's right, Shikomoi-san, you didn't get a team, right? I didn't hear your name called." Choji said, munching on his forever bag of chips and handing one out towards me. I took one as always before giving him my answer.

"Yeah, Tou-san told me I'd be part of an apprenticeship. You know that he gives Maru and I puzzles and quizzes every week. I think Maru quit after the second day, but I kept doing them. He kept my papers, and now here we are." I shrugged some more.

"What? Those papers you always had were things from your Tou-san?" Ino said, trying to follow the conversation. I nodded my head. She seems to understand I'm at my Nara talking limit before I start answering in grunts. They finished their lunch and made their way back to the academy. I began to walk the streets some more. 

My feet guided me to Konoha's Memorial Stone, pausing to look at all the names. There are so many. I wonder if any of them are because of me? No, I can't think like that. I was touching the last Nara placed on the stone, Nara Shunsen, Konoha Chunin. He was my cousin twice removed or something. But I remember him around the compound, friendly and shy but also compassionate. Watching the stone some more I felt a presence on my left, only to be met with the infamous copy ninja, I guess I was in his turf after all.

"My apologies shinobi-san, I'll leave you in peace." I gave him a bow as I walked away, I don't think he's heard me. He's probably having a mental breakdown about who is on his team. Feet continuing to guide me to different areas of Konoha and stopped at Ichiraku Ramen, my stomach started to rumble. I guess I did miss lunch. Ducking my head under the awning and seeing an empty seat right by Uzumaki already with a nice stack of bowls by his side. I ordered tonkotsu ramen with extra toppings and waited for my order with Uzumaki slurping near my ear.

"Hey! You're Shikamaru's brother, right!" He said to me when he got a chance to take a break from inhaling his ramen.

"Yeah, Nara Shikamoi. I've been in your class for the past four years." I told him as he scratches the back of his head in embarrassment, I didn't mean too, but Nara's have a mean resting bitch face that just screams "I don't give a fuck." 

"Ah! I knew that. I didn't hear Iruka-sensei call out your name for teams, but he called you before the break. You passed, right?" I was a little surprised that Naruto picked up on that. But he isn't the most unpredictable ninja for anything.

"Ah, I passed, they just wanted to place me in an apprenticeship and didn't want to announce it in front of the class." Yeah, I'm sticking with the apprenticeship story sue me.

"Whoa, you must be super strong! Do you know any cool Jutsu?!" He yelled/talked; he probably only has one volume. I feel sorry for his team, almost.

"Ey, not that type of apprenticeship. It'll be mainly thinking of stuff and paperwork. Not too exciting," I hope, but I can't tell people that I'm a 12-year-old genin that got drafted into ANBU. Because dad is batshit insane to read what I wrote when I was bored before Uzumaki can comment any further, my bowl placed in from of me. He finished two additional bowls when I was nearly finished with my first, called out goodbye, and left—looking at the last remains of my broth, my brother ducks under the awning.

"Kaa-san is looking for us, she told me to come to look for you," Maru told me as he leaned against the countertop. Nodding and finishing the last of my broth, I put my money on the counter, thanking the workers, and followed my brother back to our house. "You don't have an apprenticeship, do you Shikomoi?" Damn, my genius brother, I was hoping he'd take longer.

"Saa, I wasn't lying when I said it was a type of apprenticeship, but it's not what you think," I said as I clasp my hands behind my head. Shikamaru began to mull over my words, thinking of all the possibilities. Oh no, I have to shut that down. "Don't worry, Maru; you think Tou-san will place me somewhere I can't handle?" He grumbled a little more. I started to ask about his team and sensei. He just called it all troublesome and left it at that. 

"Tadaima," Maru and I called out, taking our sandals off by the door. I see dad sitting on the low table. He's home early.

"Okaeri," Mom said as she wiped her hands on her apron. "Moi-Moi set the table. Shikamaru get the dishes." I'm pretty sure mom is going to call me that forever, ha big bad ANBU being called Moi-Moi by his mother. I can see my enemies quivering in their shoes. But then again, mom does handle a mean spatula better than most shinobi throw kunai. Dinner was a typical affair. I still ate my portion and part of Maru's; even if I ate earlier, I'd never turn down food. Maru and mom took care of clean up, and dad brought me to the engawa on the far side of the house, so we don't get interrupted. 

"I'm sorry, Moi-kun," dad said, it was odd hearing him apologize. I understand his point of view. But seeing dad broken up over the decision was pretty heartbreaking, especially since it looked like he aged ten years since he's told me the news. It can't be easy being Jounin Commander, a father, and clan head to a clan known for strategical thinking. Maru was covered as firstborn. But I knew he was worried where I was going to go. I wonder how far he thought this up. "Know that this decision wasn't easy, knowing that my youngest son will be forced to become a pawn. Instead, I made you into a knight." 

A knight, huh, in shogi, a knight can jump both friend and foe on the board, he made me versatile. A pawn can only move in one direction, unable to retreat; dad gave me freedom. Fuck I love this man, if I had been put into an existing team, a conflict would ensure not letting move forward in my career as intended. I'll probably be lost as a genin seeing the rest of my classmates move forward. I'm able to use my unconventional mind in ANBU to shift how I please because the missions are highly classified and vetted by dad and the ANBU general. Dad made me as valuable as the first son, Shikamaru with a legacy team people expect him to be like dad and his buddies. With me, he pretty much told everyone that my mind is better. Dad gave Shikamaru his team, but he gave me his intellect.

"Thank you, Tou-san. I know you worry about me as much as you do, Maru. I know that you try to do your best with your work schedule. I'll be able to handle it, knowing I have your backing. If I could ease enough tension off your shoulders, that's fine too." dad squeezed my shoulders, continuing to sit in comfortable silence.

"How are you feeling about it all, truthfully?" dad said after a while.

"I'm scared, but I'm also relieved. I was walking earlier and noticed that everyone is still carefree. I saw Maru relaxing with his team with no worries. I began to imagine Maru older with more responsibilities and Tou-san. We do not look good with bags and stress lines on our faces." dad cracked a smile, good he shouldn't have to carry around so much. A burden shared is a burden halved. "But ultimately, I want Maru to keep his innocence, if only for a little while longer, and if that means that I shorten mine to do it, I'm fine with it."

"You're a good son and brother, Shikomoi. I'm proud of the person you're turning out to be." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A surprise visit from Kakashi! And Shikaku always has a plan I hope that clarifies the "what the hell" moment from the last chapter, until next time. Comments and kudos feed this story. Stay safe, everyone!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who spat in her bean curd? - Grandma Fa (Mulan)

My alarm clock rang at three in the morning after my heart-to-heart with dad, I hit the sack. He handed me a piece of paper with instructions on where I needed to go. It was one of the further training grounds, and I had to be there at dawn. Who I'm meeting is still unsure, but if Inoichi and Ibiki were at the initial meeting, it has to be one of them first, right? I wonder if I'll be decked out like ANBU or will I have that trench, but seeing as my recruitment is a secret, I'm leaning more toward mask. Unless they want to hide me in a room and not let me out, that's a terrifying thought. 

I am quietly getting myself ready for what I needed and a quick breakfast of onigiri that mom left out for me. Dad just said bare minimum because I'll be outfitted for my gear when we start. I'm beyond nervous as I make my way out of the house toward the training ground that will change my life. Feeling the cool breeze of Konoha on my face, will this be the last time in a while? A Nara is known for its shadows, after all. The landing of my feet echoed the quiet ground as I began to look around in the darkness. The quiet is eery yet comforting. I hear a person deliberately step on a branch as my head whips around at the noise, had near my kunai pouch. I didn't relax as I see a shadowy masked figure emerge from the trees. 

"Nara Shikomoi?" the masked figure said, I can see it painted clearly to look like a bear. He's built stocky. Almost like an Akimichi. Voice deep and gravelly as if it hasn't been used in a while. His posture firm and ready. Overall, pretty intimidating over scrawny pre-pubescent me, this dude is like a fucking brick house. I could only nod my head as he beckons me forward to follow him; I did so in silence. I wasn't sure what the appropriate questions would be, my mind going a million miles a minute. I thought I was meeting Inoichi of Ibiki! But fuck if dad says I can handle it, no need to feel like a little bitch. 

The masked bear takes me into an undisclosed building, with twists and turns confusing to anyone unfamiliar with the area. Bear knocked on the door, a voice says to come in, he pushes me forward, rude! There in the well-lit office sat Inoichi on a couch and Ibiki behind a desk. They're playing mind games with me now the pricks, or they might have been too lazy to go to the training grounds to get me. My brain needs to shut off now, thanks. 

"Shikomoi," I kind of want to punch Inoichi in his pretty face for smiling as my heart is beating out of my fucking chest.

"Ino Ji-san," I gave him my infamous Nara your an idiot look he probably gets a lot from dad. I mean, this man likely changed my diapers, and he's sitting here in the bowels of T&I like we're on a picnic. My hand wants to hit my face or his pretty hard right now. I went to sit on the edge of the open couch to get a view of both men; Bear disappeared after he dropped me off. "Saa, are we going to continue with this cloak and dagger, or are we going to get started on what I'm here for?" I might have sounded sassy, but surprises annoy me, which is bullshit and not suitable for my blood pressure. Can ninja get high blood pressure? Inoichi sent Ibiki an amused glance before chuckling.

"Yes, we'll get started. Your dad said you'll be working with us, in that aspect you'll be apart of the shadow guards but not the actual part of ANBU, you'll be sort of like the shadow of the shadows." Inoichi must be sniffing too many flowers, did that mean they made a position in ANBU just for me? How good do they think I am? The old man likes to talk big, but I know he doesn't boost Maru or mine's abilities. 

"You will be different from the others, as your uniform and outfit will tell you," Ibiki said as he tossed the brown package sitting on his desk toward me. I unwrapped the twine holding it together to be met with a completely black ANBU mask, and standard ANBU gear is entirely black. Shadow of the shadow's, no kidding, I can't even see the eye holes in this thing. In reality, all I can think of is I hope they have more ninja bullshit to keep me cool because Konoha was HOT, and if not, I might need to get into fuinjutsu. "The next three weeks, you'll be eating, sleeping, and breathing the training we will be giving you. Welcome to the shadows, Kemuri." Smoke, huh, fitting.

The training was brutal; my body aches so much. I can't shit without my back spazzing. I was doing tactical and intel training with both Ibiki and Inoichi, but mainly Ibiki. Team drills with reserve ANBU. My 'D' rank missions were pretty much hide-and-seek. Most of my mission runs were gathering intel, deciphering it, or just straight up sabotage. I don't go on to many of those, but when I do, I'm happy because who doesn't get excited to blow shit up. They gave me interim chunin after my training period. I haven't been home in a month and a half, I miss mom's cooking, miss cloud-watching with my brother, and playing shogi with dad. Hell, I'll take mom's devil spatula over the hell training I'm getting now. But most of all, I miss my bed. 

Ibiki gave me a desk in the corner of his office as I combed through all the intel we gathered. Noticing the money pattern in Waves, I vaguely remembered that team seven goes on a mission with a bridge builder? Picking what I have on Gato, on paper, he was a business mongrel looking to expand; however, his funding is sporadic. Weapons trade, black market dealings, slavery trade, Gato has his grubby fingers everywhere. And just the fact that it's a shipping company, no one will look closely at the cargo until me that is. He's heavily involved in the conflict in Mist, suppling for both sides, how he gets away with it is a mystery. 

Let's see if I can find anything about a bridge annnnnd HA! Tazuna, Master Bridge Builder from the Land of Waves. Applied for numerous protections details of various rank but only had funding for a high 'D' rank low 'C' class with is roughly 30k Ryo. Logistically nothing is wrong with the parameters that were put down.  _ The mission will be complete upon completion of the bridge without known threats to escort to Land of Waves. _ But I wasn't the mission ninja that took the initial details. Hmm, tricky, let's see if there is anything else around that region. Damn, nothing all dry. 

"Ibiki-senpai, I got something weird here." I showed him my findings, spinning my chair around and pointing at Gato's shady dealings as well as Tazuna's mission request, giving key points. It'll be fitted with a high 'C' low "B' with caution attached to it due to the unstable economy. We made a side note for the Hokage and whoever is assigning the missions—next, border patrol, escort, border, escort, all reasonably standard 'C' ranks. But I probably need to ask why and all hell are we getting things from Land of Wind when Suna is supposed to be an ally. I might need to talk to dad on this one. Statistically, it's money coming to Konoha. Still, on the allied front, we get on Suna's shit list, with a 79% rate of Land of Wind missions coming of Konoha that's 79% less goes to them. With droughts and unfarmable soil, water and food are scarce. With no income coming into the village there will be few imports and exports. 

Shit, no wonder they invaded...are going to invade us...hmm, I wonder if it's too late to try to build a stronger alliance...no we're fucked. It's late May, Chunin exams are late June, and the invasion will be late July. The Hebi-sennin definitely would have approached the Kazekage by now trying to finalize his plans. I could tie in the mission aspects to Suna's cold relations to us. Now, how many are they sending for the Chunin Exams...ten teams, one of which is the Kazekage's children. Tapping my pen on my desk, I began to think. 

A kunai flew past my ear and hit the wall with a dull thunk, "Stop that," I heard Ibiki say, before continuing with his work.  I need to go to dad; I paused my fingers. This is too big for me. Telling Ibiki of my rough plans, I gathered my paperwork. I headed toward dad, seeing that I'm still decked out in my ANBU blacks. I used the shadows to get to my dad. I knocked slightly at his door to get his attention.

"Kemuri, do we have an issue." dad asked, I just nodded my head before sealing the room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or having everything happen all at once - Paulo Coelho.

"I see the problem Kemuri-kun, what do you suggest we do?" The Hokage asked me as he smoked his pipe. I looked at dad through my mask. After I briefed dad on the possible security issues for the upcoming Chunin Exams and the statistics on missions coming from Land of Wind, the Suna contingent could bring all powerhouses as well as the other nations. Still, I know through Anime/Manga knowledge that it's only one with the backing of Orochimaru and his lackeys. 

Running numbers of available personnel and the estimated number of participants for the exam, our upper-level ninja are few with hits from both the Kyuubi and the massacre. Our last Jounin promotion was Kurenai, who received her promotion out of 50 candidates in early April. ANBU is no better than general forces with numbers; however, the Hokage has them maintaining border patrols with various chunin teams as back up. 

In all, we have seven divisions with Bear division in charge of internal protection. They only had four full ANBU squads with five on the reserve; 4 people are part of the Frog division for medical needs and crisis. Cat, Owl, and Dragon division have three units with 3-month rotations in the village, so one is here at all times. Seven people per squad that's roughly 80 ANBU personnel will be in the village during the exam. 

I wonder if the Hokage knows Danzo and his root army because if he is, then that solves the protection issue. Still, I vaguely remember that Danzo might have done some under-dealings with Orochimaru. Fuck, I wished I would have read the damn manga further then I did. I'm working on the fly here. How are our relations with Taki, Kusa, or Ame? Do we have ninja diplomats? This is a complete cluster fuck. Did our diplomats go to shit after Iwa got all grab happy? My head, ugh. 

But if we could have both the remaining sannin to help combat their wayward teammate, we might have a slightly higher chance to minimize the damage to the village. I'm not going to be optimistic and say that we'll have zero casualties because that's dumb. That's what we could hope for, but I'm not an idealist. So sannin here, all ANBU and Jounin with a rotating patrol schedule in groups of at least three. Chunin and Genin not participating will maintain civilian traffic to a minimum. We should probably admit a few people to the arena area during the final exam. With a vague idea in my head, I began to voice out my plans.

"We'll need the full remaining ANBU shadowing each team for the second task into the forest. The intel and crypto teams will remain to monitor the first task. I believe we need at least two squads of ANBU on top of your guard for the final task, hidden. We'll have patrolling village routes intersecting each other with groups of three for the duration of the exam. All Chunin and Jounin in the village that does not have a participating team will be part of the patrols. These areas here." I said, pointing at where the visiting shinobi are staying as well as the parameters around the village. "Will be guarded with overlapping rotations to ensure no holes in security. The Genin teams not in the exam may maintain normal working missions. We also need to recall your remaining students Hokage-sama." I finished holding my breath feeling as I gave an oral report to the principal.

"I understand why we need to recall my students, but Tsunade has been adamant about not returning. And wouldn't the massive guard shifts not only cause unrest with the participants but the civilians as well?" The Hokage said, I know he wants me to fight for my plan, but this is such a drag.

"Yes, it most likely will, but the village's safety is more important than feeling uncomfortable. We have not shown the other nations that we are still at the top since the third war. This is our first open exam since then, and we need to be able to show, even if that all it is, that we still have the manpower to have people question us. I know about Lady Tsunade's inept feelings towards the village, and if I have to convince her myself, I would. There is more at stake than her un-towed feelings, and our medical program is bare minimum with no new techniques since she's left the village." I hope I got my point across; we need this to work.

"I've read your initial tactics Kemuri-kun." What he read my scramblings too? Who didn't dad show those to? "I believe you have and point, and I've seen the ideas you've come up with and with so little information. I'll put my faith in your judgment t. You'll be sent to retrieve Tsunade tomorrow but will be meeting Jiraiya along the way. I'll send a summon, and you'll be meeting him in the next town over." I gave the Hokage a bow before finalizing my plan with dad in his office. 

I gave dad my initial patrolling details as well as evacuation routes if things go wrong. I was pretty much giving him a panic plan in case of an emergency; I vaguely remembered somewhere. Dad did have to clean it up a little bit, and he's asked me to clarify some parts, but I think we had it. With the Hokage giving me a solo mission, I was allowed to go home for the night. I was happy; dad walked with me as I changed out of my blacks into standard gear with my chunin vest, gah it feels weird. With his hand across my shoulders, dad and I begin to walk home. 

"I'm proud of you son," dad told me squeezing my shoulder, it made me feel warm, I didn't have positive reinforcement in my first life. I was mainly alone, but here I'm surrounded. "I remember when you and your brother fitting at the palm of my hand and now look at you, planning village security for a big event and chunin at that." I rolled my eyes, the only reason I made chunin so fast is because I needed the clearance for certain things. And a chunin asking for village secrets is better than a genin, go figure, but combat-wise I know I'm not up to par, but the reserve ANBU are getting me there FAST.

"Saa, Tou-san. I'll always be clenching onto your pant leg; you helped me out a lot with the finalization with everything." I said, trying to be modest. Dad messes up my hair, and I hate it when he does that.

"But you brought it to our attention when you noticed a pattern." I just nodded, we're talking in circles at this point, I didn't need to comment further. 

"Tadaima" I called out, dad gives me a smirk as I heard footsteps coming from the kitchen. I see a blur of black before I'm lifted and squeezed. Holy shit, I forgot how strong mom was. "Kaa-san. Air." I told her before she dropped me on the floor and began to fuss at me even more.

"Moi-Moi, I'm so glad your home, have you've been eating. You got skinnier. Are you getting enough sleep? Are they nice to you?" Mom's rapid questions made my head spin; dad pulled her off of me before she could ask any more.

"Okaeri Moi, chunin, huh? what a drag." my brother said, slumped over a shogi set. "Play." His way of telling me to sit my ass down. The feeling of home settled in my bones as I heard familiar sounds of mom and dad in the kitchen talking with her making dinner and the clicking of shogi pieces across the board.

"Boy's set the table," mom called out, and we all just fell into a routine. Everyone seated in their place; we all began to eat the delicious food mom made that I've missed since my training.

"Are you going to be home for long Moi-kun?" mom asked as she noticed the please feeling I had on my face after the first bite. Swallowing what I had in my mouth, I gave a quick look to dad.

"Gomen Kaa-san, I have a mission out of the village tomorrow, and I don't know how long it's going to be." Neither my mother nor brother pressured me to tell them what the mission was. They might have a vague idea that I was in the shadow guards seeing as this is the first time I've been home in nearly a month and a half. It's both a blessing and a curse to be surrounded by intellects. I didn't want them to worry. "I'm just finding someone for Hokage-sama, I won't be alone." I gave in hoping to keep them at ease. 

The rest of the conversation moved toward on typical day to day things, and they've been catching me up on what's going happening. Maru talked about what he did with his team. Mom sent us to bed after clearing the dishes; we didn't put up a fight. I was lying on my mattress when there was a knock on my door, noticing my brother's chakra signature I called him in. He crawled into the bed next to me. We hadn't done this since I first moved rooms before the academy started. 

"You've been gone a while," Maru said, and all I did was a hum in response, I don't know what I could tell him. "You move more like tou-san now, like a ninja."

"I've been training hard, Maru. I lost track of days, and sometimes I didn't see the sun for just as long." I wanted to be honest with my brother. He's my twin, my other half. "Tou-san was put in an awkward position when we graduated with you being born first. I did those sheets that he gave us, but it garnered some attention. I haven't decided if it was bad or good yet."

"Tou-san recommended you for ANBU, didn't he." Maru calmly said as if he didn't just explode my mind. "I know you, Moi, it was easy to put together. Keh apprenticeship." he burrowed further into the blankets. Damn genius.

"Shut up, I didn't know if I could tell anyone, still don't," I said, taking some of the blankets back.

"So, the mission for tomorrow?" He pushed forward.

"My contingency plan."

"Troublesome."


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cupcakes are muffins that believe in miracles.

The next town was a couple of hours away at ninja speed. I wonder what information Jiraiya might have in regards to everything; he's supposed to be a spymaster after all. I had no idea where I'm supposed to be meeting the Sennin, just the location. What a drag, more work for me. Walking around the town in hopes of seeing a flash of white, he has white hair, right? I see little knick-knacks that mom might like. Then I heard a giggle.

Sitting on a bench was the person I was looking for. He scribbles in his notebook, occasionally eyeing a group of women sitting at a table and having their afternoon tea and sitting next to him, looking at what he's doing waiting to be acknowledged. I mean, I'm wearing my Konoha headband, and he was told he's meeting me. I was distracted by his drawing of the women sitting at the table, he captured her perfectly, and the curve of her neck gives a slight teasing feeling. The book snapped closed; I didn't apologize for looking I just stared at him.

"So, you're the brat I'm meeting to get Hime." He gave me a once over looking at my small stature. "I didn't think they gave promotions out to youngsters anymore."

"I'm exceptional at my job, Nara Shikomoi, Jiraiya-sama." I gave him a lazy nod.

"Yeah, still a brat probably. I noticed you eyeing my picture. See something you like?" He gave a sleazy grin. I rolled my eyes mentally, telling him that we need to get a move on. "Alright, alright. What's your hurry, short-stack."

"I guess Hokage-sama gave you a rundown of what I do and what I might anticipate?" He gave me a thoughtful nod.

"Yeah, something about using your Nara brain and seeing patterns and making plans," arms crossed with his finger at his chin. He gives off an idiot feel like Naruto, no wonder they get along so well. 

"And you know about the upcoming exams taking place in a few months, right?"

"Yes, yes. Sensei told me you need me a Hime to be power hitters or something because you might have seen our relations with our allies as unstable. Look, kid, I've been roaming around these nations when you were a twinkle in your father's eyes. You're putting too much thought into those patterns. No one is going to mess with Konoha." He sounded so sure of himself that I couldn't tell him my knowledge of the invasion. I just tried to tie it messily together as a concern with our allies and missions. I doubt myself, shit. Jiraiya had a way with words to question me, but I can't lose my resolve. I needed them both in the village.

"Hokage-sama trust my judgment as well as my Tou-san," I told him, trying not to give my real thoughts.

"Alright brat, we'll try to get the Hime. I doubt she'll listen to a little upstart like you, though." He picked up his pack, and I followed behind him. He roamed around, not in a real rush, he finally stopped in a small gambling den. Noticing a plain-faced man that Jiraiya was walking toward, he must be necessary for finding Tsunade.

"Hey kid, you have any cash?" Jiraiya asked me lowly. I gave him a slight nod; the Hokage gave me an advance on my mission pay, anticipating something might happen. "Zaji-san, nice to see you. You got any news on Hime?" the plain-faced man gave Jiraiya a blank stare, and Jiraiya gave me one. I gave him a third of my pay. He counted out the Ryo slowly as to formulate his thoughts.

"Tsunade-san came by a few weeks ago before heading west. Owes me a nice sum too." his oily voice told us. A few weeks, she could cover a lot of ground. This task almost feels impossible. Jiraiya nodded at the information before we headed back out.

"Where are we headed? She could be anywhere by now." I voiced my opinion.

"Hime might be a drunk and a gambler, but she's anything but dumb. She'll stick around the Land of Fire knowing that she has damn near immunity because of sensei, he just gave up the direction on where to go. And knowing her pattern, she'll be three towns over near Land of Rivers' border, getting drunk and losing her money at her heart's content." Jiraiya seems sure; I'm not going to questions his teammates habits.

It'll take us a couple of days to travel, and hopefully, we'll be back before the exam. "Tell me about yourself, gaki," Jiraiya said, breaking the silence. 

"Like what, Jiraiya-sama?" I questioned, I had a feeling on what he was going to say.

"You know hobbies, likes, ideal measurements." Giving me a lecherous grin, I have a feeling that is his go-to expression when talking about women, no wonder he gets beat up often. It's not pretty to look at. 

"Ah, you know typical Nara stuff. Naps and shogi." Shrugging my shoulders.

"Bah, boring. You're too young to have old man hobbies." He expressed a groan. I decided to throw him a bone. I didn't want this mission to turn out unbearable because everything is troublesome at the moment.

"I like reading too. Puzzles help my mind calm down." He seemed more interested in the reading bit.

"Reading, huh, what about?"

"Saa, anything I could get my hands on. I don't have a preference. I just like the feeling of books." Which was true in both lives, I like the physical touch of turning the pages and the smell of a newly printed book. 

"You should try my  _ Icha Icha  _ series; it has action, romance, and everything in between." He said, trying to sell me his works.

"I'm under 18, Jiraiya-sama." I gave him a deadpanned look.

"Bah, you're a ninja. Here I'll give you a signed copy kid." He throws the book at me, and I automatically caught it, looking at a familiar orange book in my hands. I skimmed a few pages, and it was like reading 50 Shade and Twilight. This man had no imagination at all of the proportions. And can people bend that way? I slipped it in my pouch. "Tell me how you like it later." He gave me a huge grin. It's like he's bragging about his kid. But I guess it can be taken that way, and he did put some type of work into creating them.

"Hum, sure. I'll probably finish it quickly." 

"No, you better enjoy and savor every last bit of it." He wagged his finger at me.

"Yes, yes. I shall savor your amazing literature Jiraiya-sama." We ran a little while longer before we bunked up for the night. We made a reasonable distance. He was poking the fire as I unrolled my bedroll. I sat across from him and watched the fire. 

"It's been a while since I traveled with anybody," he told me with a thoughtful expression on his face. "Tell me what you know about the Hime kid, we need a plan if we're convincing her to come back.

"I know she was your teammate with Hokage-sama, she's a formidable medic and made groundbreaking discoveries. She also has enormous strength. She's also the first Hokage's granddaughter, and she picks up his gambling habit from him. She had a brother and lover both died in the war, and she never recovered from their loss. She also has an apprentice/caretaker Shizune-san." I said, rambling off what I read in the archives.

"So basics then, alright." He gave me a grim expression. "Hime hasn't been practicing medical ninjutsu since Dan died and picked up the bottle. Can't stand the sight of blood. Makes her queazy, her slugs and Shizune-chan do most of the healing now. I've met her a few times during my travels to check-in on her, and it's rough. You know both Sensei and I tried telling her to go back to the village, what makes you think you can do it when we have failed?" I mulled at his question, it's true I didn't have a plan, and hopefully, it's in our favor. 

"I'll give her an offer she can't refuse." I was bullshitting.

"Oh yeah, kid, what's that?"

"You'll just have to wait and see." 

In the morning, we were fresh-faced and ready to go, after removing all evidence of us being there, we continued west. We should be in the same town either tonight or early morning; regardless, I'll be sleeping in a bed either way. Packing up the rest of my gear, I waited for Jiraiya to get done with whatever the hell he's doing.

"Alright, kid, let's move." We traveled at a moderate speed to conserve our energy; this is honestly the furthest I've been anywhere. I was beginning to feel fatigued. Dad sometimes takes Maru and me to the neighboring farms around the village to check on the stock for deer. We were still running when I was munching on a ration bar, I'm glad I got these from Choji, they're a little better then shinobi standard, but no one can get the cardboard taste out of them yet. I'm hoping they will soon, and they're as bad as the protein bars from before. I'm also shit in the kitchen; otherwise, I would have tried to recreate my old favorites, like the love of my life pizza.

I see a foot near my head as I was drooling over my first love. Shit, I needed to pay attention. Landing next to Jiraiya, we paused in our running to see who decided to disturb our afternoon stroll. There in Iwa garb, I see a bald man ready to strike. Without thought I went into action, I did a quick Shadow Neck-bind suffocating him unconscious. I'm so glad dad taught me that even if it's chakra intensive. My body feeling heavy after the chakra loss, I let go of his shadow before falling to my knees. Damn, I need to build up my reserves.

"You didn't need to do that kid, I would have handled it," Jiraiya said, and he lifted me, chakra exhaustion sucks. At least I was conscious.

"Didn't think, just reacted," I told him, trying to regain my mental functions. I know what I did was stupid, but the training ANBU gave me trigger responses when they noticed my mind would wander. I blacked out before I could hear his answer.

When I woke, I was lying in a soft bed; did Jiraiya carry me all the way through? I feel like I have a hangover and flu, my body feels like shit. 

"Hey, idiot genius, are you up?" I heard Jiraiya's voice and rustling. I tried to open my eyes. I just gave him a groan. "Good, only an idiot will go through chakra exhaustion with a low-level ninja. You do realize you're traveling with a Sennin, right?"

"Ah, apologize, Jiraiya-sama; it was an automatic response." I tried stilling up and felt the world shift. I need to work on building up my reserves.

"Yeah, yeah. Well, Hime should be around here somewhere, when you're up to it, we'll go look for her." He told me as I tried to get my bearing, I just hope I'll be successful in this mission. Everyone is counting on me, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jiraiya did a hostile take over on my thoughts, damn pervy sage.
> 
> But I wanted to clarify Shikomoi and his character. He died relatively young (25-35), and he was alone with no one depending on him ever. His whole routine was going to work (low-level job enough to pay bills) and coming to an empty house to get lost in fantasy books, movies, games, etc. He was an only child to parents that were to busy for him, which is why he turned toward fantasy.
> 
> Konoha is entirely new for him, and he wants to keep the safe feeling as long as possible, the only event he knows from the series is the invasion. He likes that people are dependent on his thoughts, and it's overwhelming, and he's not sure how to handle it properly. Shikomoi has never made any big decisions and just cruised his first life. When Shikaku threw him to the wolves, Shikomoi thinks that's his role in the family and will not question any parent/authority figure. He believes everyone has his best interest. 
> 
> I hope that clears up some of Shikomoi's characteristics. Thanks for all of your feedback!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Buddha called suffering a holy truth because our suffering has the capacity to show us the path to liberation. Embrace your suffering and let it reveal to you the way to peace. - Unknown

After I got my bearings back, although I still felt a little woozy, we headed to find Tsunade. I'm still thinking about how I can convince her. I don't know how Naruto convinced her; I stopped when they were leaving the village to find her. Damn my short-sightedness, but I didn't think I'll be reincarnated here either, shit I could have been in Reborn or something. 

"What's the plan, kid," Jiraiya asked as we were wandering around the small town. There wasn't much to look at, but it seems like he has a general idea of where he is going.

"I won't know what type of mood or person she is until I meet her," I told him, which was true. I am fairly decent at planning on the fly, and I just hope it works.

"So you were blowing smoke up my ass when you told me you had an offer she couldn't refuse!" He yelled, pointing at me. We were attracting people; I gave him my number one are you stupid Nara look. He gave an embarrassed chuckle before continuing to where he's going.

"No, Hokage-sama told me to get her back by any means. And I plan on doing that." I told him calmly; it's like traveling with a child. 

"Yes, whatever kid. Just don't get punched." Jiraiya grumbled as he continued to stack forward. We made it to what looked like a bar, and I wasn't too sure. It's dark in there. "Alright, brat I think I see her over there by the bar, I'm going to go say hi to those ladies at that table hee hee hee." Jiraiya stocked away. 

Taking in Tsunade's posture, and was holding on to her cup, looking into nothing. She seems depressed and lost. Like she's lost the meaning of life and trying to find it in the contents of that cup. Slowly making my way over, I'm pretty sure she senses me. With a glance over, she can tell I'm a Konoha shinobi as I see a small grimace pass her face before her indifference mask is back into place. 

Ordering a bottle of hot sake, the bartender placed it in front of make giving me a dubious look. Shit, I forgot I'm a pre-pubescent teen. Ah, fuck it, I need this. Slowly I pour the liquid in my cup and letting the heat of the rice wine coat my throat and stomach; hmm, maybe dad will let me have a few with him. Pouring another and another, I'm on my 4th cup before Tsunade said anything. I'm glad they're small, bearly half a shot.

"What's a pipsqueak like you drinking at a place like this." Tsunade moved her seat closer to mine. Get the target interested, check. 

"To get you Tsunade-sama. You're being recalled back to the village." I calmly told her, the drinking helped clear my head. I still don't have a plan, but meh, fuck it. 

"Did sensei send you?! I told him I was never coming back, and the village could burn for all I care." She spat out, and I could hear the venom in her voice. I looked into her eyes, and they didn't match what she said, hmm interesting.

"He did send me only because I asked."

"And what's a brat like you holding authority over the Hokage, why would he listen to you." Her words were venomous, but the spark of interest is there, she's curious. I can work with that.

"I'm part of his tactical division, been there since I graduated." I took another sip, damn I wonder if I can flavor this. Peach or lychee flavors were tasty from what I remember. I need to get with Choji's dad. 

"Must be a Nara then, whose brat are you?" She asked, getting interested in the conversation as she took some sake from my bottle to pour into her own.

"I'm the second son to the clan head." 

"I didn't think the Nara's did a spare."

"They don't; I became the shadow heir when they discussed my career." I figured out what dad's end game was. He figured Maru was going to take over as Jounin Commander, and I'll handle ANBU. Both positions are advisory positions to the Hokage. The shadow heir thing is me becoming Maru's right hand. We run the clan together, but he'll be the face, and I'll be his backup.

"I've never heard of shadow heirs before?" Tsunade said with a look of intrigue.

"And you won't be hearing it from me," I said as I poured us both a cup after I signaled the barkeep for another bottle. 

"Alright I'll bite, why do you need me there?" After a moment of silence, just sipping our drinks. I knew that she was curious, and I like to think that I had patience, like dad. 

"Hmm, it's not something we should talk about in public, Tsunade-sama," I told her, I wanted to see how far I can push before she caves. We drank a few more, and she's watching me closely, I know that Tsunade thinks that she can get me hammered, but I've been sneakily dumping my drink in odd places when she wasn't looking. I stopped drinking about an hour ago.

"Tsunade-sama, I think you had enough. Please let us rest for the night." I see a girl holding a pig come up next to Tsunade. This must be Shizune. 

"I believe she's correct Tsunade-sama, how about we call it a night at I'll buy you breakfast in the morning." I offered.

"Nope, not good enough brat, I want answers now, so you're following me." She pulled my flank jacked and tucked me under her arm like a bad puppy. Whatever I didn't have to walk, shit, I didn't pay. Fuck, I'll come back tomorrow. I have a feeling that this will be a long night. 

  
And it was after I explained everything in detail, she had a look of contempt, but I knew she wasn't buying it.

"What's that all have to do with me? You want me back in the village over some hunch? Like I said before, the village could burn in hell. Sensei should have given up the hat long ago. He's getting senile in his old age." She told me I had to tread carefully.

"You know Tsunade-sama, as the last Senju, you have a lot of pull in the village to change things. For the better, things like everyone requiring one medic per team. The way that the village is now, I wouldn't be surprised if we go into another war, and more brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters are lost." I told her, trying to get her to look at the bigger picture, I have to get her out of that narrowmindedness.

"It almost sounds like you want me to take over the hat for sensei, kid," Her arms crossed. "Why would I want to throw away my life for a village that throws away their shinobi like fucking game pieces on a board?!" She's getting emotional, good.

"No, I don't think you'll make a good Hokage. You're a washout, and you haven't used medical ninjutsu in Kami knows how long. I just need you to stand by Hokage-sama and look pretty. That's all you're good for now and days." I lazily told her I know I was pushing buttons, and I might get a concussion later and maybe die a third time, but at this point, I'll play the asshole card. I could see the vein popping out of her head as she listens to my words in anger, Shizune is by her ladies side staring at me in shock. Yeah, lady, I'm shocked too. 

"Look here, you little, brat, I don't need some little shit, nobody telling me all I'm good for nothing! I've done plenty, why should I waste my time listening to anything you say." You could almost see her foam at the mouth.

"Because once I go back to the village, I could tell another one of Hokage-sama's student's rather go missing-nin then return. It'll be both of you, of course, since Shizune-san did graduate from the academy before she left with you. On top of having loan sharks after you, how would you like bounty hunters, I wonder how long Shizune-san can protect you before you get her killed like the others." I said my last word before I felt a jerk in my front. I was reinforcing my body with Yin chakra in hopes of softening the blow from someone who could crush a mountain with their pinky.

"You are an idiot genius," I heard Jiriaya's voice as he held Tsunade's chakra punch back. "This was your plan to get her to come back? Call her useless and then threaten to label her as a missing-nin?" I shrugged my shoulders as I get my bearings back together.

"Jiraiya-sama!" I heard Shizune yell; she better ease up the grip on that pig. I think I see it turning blue.

"Jiraiya, sensei calling you back too," Tsunade said in mirth.

"Actually, Hime. The brat told sensei he needed us back, and I was going to go anyways. I need to make my reports and check in on a few things." Jiraiya said vaguely, not giving any detail.

"I just need you all back for the chunin exam we're hosting, you can fuck off elsewhere for all I care. Konoha just has to flex their muscles a little bit because we've been seen as weak. I feel that the exam may be a perfect time to attack; our security will be modified, but it's not enough for casualties." I was getting tired of this mission.

"What do you say, Hime? Fancy a trip back to the Rusty Kunai for old-times sake?"

"They did have the best flavors in sake." She's not putting much of a fight now, and I just think that she wanted an excuse to come anyways. "I want to hear from sensei anyways on what he was thinking of making a brat like him chunin."

"Alright, we leave in the morning," Jiraiya said with a big grin and hands clapped. Mission accomplished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shikomoi is a dummy. He made me want to choke him this entire chapter; he was difficult. Work on your social skills dude, it'll help you from being punched in the face.
> 
> Thanks for the read! Character building is hard. Stay safe!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime. - Ernest Hemingway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dummy Shikomoi plagued my thoughts, and he just wants his mom.

Once everything was settled and packed, we all made it back to Konoha in no time flat. Of course, I was scolded from doing anything stupid, and Tsunade just said it was better if I kept my mouth shut, harsh much. But I complied. We were all headed back to the village; my mission was complete. The Hokage could tell them the rest of the plans, and I can relax a little bit, not counting the hell training I'm going to be continuing. 

"So what's this all about sensei, and why did you send such a rude brat. I don't think he deserves that rank are you passing it like candy?" Tsunade said, cutting straight to the point, sure her words hurt, but I should be able to brush it off. Stick and stones, after all.

"Tsunade-chan, I'm glad you're back. Shikomoi has been through vigorous mental and physical training; he's earned his rank. He has saved many of his comrades with his brain alone." The Hokage said with his ever trusty pipe.

"Physical training, yeah, right. The brat gave himself chakra exhaustion over a barely 'C' rank nin from his clan technique. He's not showing either brawn or brain." Jiraiya said I winced at the thought, yeah, not one of my brighter moments. 

"Shikomoi-kun is still young, he has room for improvement, now can you stop talking ill of my shinobi, let's get started on why you're here in the first place." The Hokage began to explain the plan as well on what we may expect, the way the Hokage was telling it to them sounded better than my panic mess. One of the reasons I should never go into politics is that I never had a way with words in either lifetime. "Shikomoi-kun, you're dismissed. I believe someone wishes to see you in his office when you return home." I gave the Hokage a parting bow and left toward dad's office.

The last time I was there, we planned out how to increase security at an event that lowers our defenses. Being out of the village bare-faced is different than with my mask; with my cover, at least they didn't question my ability, but when I'm without, I'm just some dumb kid. I don't like that feeling, and my mood began to sour. I knocked on dad's door before I walked in, I slumped on the couch in exhaustion. I'm questioning my career; I could be a shop keeper or something.

"Tough mission, Moi." I hear dad say in amusement, I'm too lazy to open my eyes, I grunted at him. "It can't be that bad." I couldn't help but think about their words, and it made me upset.

"I'm not competent enough for my rank. I'm weak, and my strategies are unbefitting for a Nara," I said emotionlessly.

"Did they say that?" Dad asked as his pen stopped writing whatever report he was working on.

"Not in so many words, but being called idiot genius constantly will bruise an ego Tou-san especially with a clan like ours." I just wanted to be done with the day. Sure it might be petty that I told dad, but I've always questioned my abilities. 

"Do you want me to talk to them, musuko?" Dad was giving me an option if I wanted him to get involved; I hate it when he does that. I just want to vent without having to face the consequences. 

"No, Tou-san. I better get used to hearing it, I'm just happy that it's over." I shrugged my shoulders. I just really want to go home and give mom the gift I got from the small town that made me think of her.

"You know you did well, Moi. We've sent countless shinobi to try to get Tsunade-hime back, but none were successful. They might have doubted your skills, but you brought them back, and that was your mission in the end."

"I got it Tou-san, can we head home yet. I picked up something for Kaa-san at the place we were at."

"Always your Kaa-sans child, huh, leaving your poor Tou-san to fend for himself."

"Saa, you have another kid," I told him as we made our way out, he ruffled my hair, so my high ponytail was lopsided.

"Tadaima." Dad lazily called out when we walked through the door. I took off my sandals and dropped my mission pack.

"Okaeri," I heard mom's voice in the kitchen making dinner, I silently walked into the kitchen. Still, instead of seeing mom in her normal house wear, she's wearing her chunin uniform. I must have looked confused when I looked at dad. Mom turned, and her eyes lit up when she looked at me. "Moi-Moi! You're home, just in time for dinner."

"Kaa-san, what the hell." Mom smacked me in the back of the head.

"I'm assuming why I'm in uniform even when I retired when I was pregnant with you and you're brother." Her eyebrows raised at my silent question, she might not be a born Nara, but mom picks things up quickly. "All capable retired shinobi have been recalled back to active duty just for the upcoming Chunin Exam." I didn't mean for this to happen, mom retired. She wanted to raise a family, and she's done with shinobi life. The look of shock must have passed my face.

"We went through the numbers again after you went on your mission. We're still understaffed, but temporarily bringing the retired shinobi out of retirement, we'll be able to even the odds." Dad told me, and I'm still looking at mom, it's just surreal.

"What's the percentage." I tried to look at this clinically and not as if I'm sending my mother out to face Orochimaru.

"46% with retire shinobi that are mentally sound, it raised 10 percent when you brought two of the sennin back." 56% huh, but I have to minus 4% because of Tsunade's fear of blood, I don't think dad knows that. 

"Training regiment and teams?" I looked at both mom and dad.

"We are going through something like an accelerated academy, and we started rotating patrols last week." Mom said, that means she must have patrol tonight if her uniform has any indication.

"Patrol?" I looked at dad; there's no need to cause a village panic right now when the exams are still a month away.

"Not the modified patrol, just the standard one," Dad said, answering my question. This whole thing was troublesome; mom retired as a paper ninja, I'm not downplaying her skills. I'm just worried about her. Mom is mom, I never could picture her as a ninja, and only the fact that she's in uniform in the flesh hits home that my plan better work. 

"Ah, welcome back to the forces, Kaa-san." I gave her a peck on the cheek when I saw her hand itch toward her devil spatula. Actually, it'll be pretty funny to see her wack a Sound shinobi with it. 

"Thank you, Moi-Moi. Now get the table set so we can have dinner before my patrol, your brother is having dinner with his team so he'll be late tonight." I did wonder where Maru was. 

We ate dinner with light conversation, and mom was telling me what she was doing to get back into shape. Which wasn't much, seeing as she's lead Maru and me through our morning stretches since we could walk. Before she left for patrol after the dishes were put away, I gave mom the hairpin that matched her favorite kimono that I got from the small town. She kissed my forehead and told me to get some rest. 

Overall I'm going to write this day off as weird, but if it's going to protect the village better, I guess I'm alright with it. I tucked myself into bed after a nice long relaxing shower; my eyes began to close with the chirps of the crickets in the night. My body relaxed into my mattress and my pillow with smells of home, it's good to be back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Totally forgot Yoshino was Chunin or at least Chunin level before the whole story like thing, but it fits nicely into the storyline, I think. Shikomoi is such a mama's boy.


End file.
